Just so you know, my brother and I weren't breastfed by our mom when we were still children. My mom told me that her breasts weren't producing any milk at all. That's why we grew up drinking formula. But during my "research", I've read that it is by nature that a mother's breasts would produce milk as long as there is a demand for it - meaning a baby latching on to feed. I kept a positive attitude that my mom's condition then would not apply to me now. I didn't think na namamana ang di pagkakaron ng gatas. I'll just follow the advice of fellow moms - just keep offering your breast whenever your baby wants to feed and let nature take its course. I'd imagined that I was successfully exclusively breastfeeding my baby and would not be fazed by shyness(?) or embarassment(?) should the situation call that I breastfeed in public. Medyo nasobrahan ata ako sa kaka-imagine at di inakala na mahirap pag actual mo nang gagawin. :P
All is well on the first few days until there came a time that our baby was still crying despite being just fed and checking all the possibilities why she wouldn't stop crying - dry nappies, comfortable etc. I kept on letting her latch but she would still cry. I was already tired and getting frustrated as to why my baby was crying. I thought then that my supply was probably low and couldn't satisfy my baby so I had to let them drink formula. I still would not totally give up on breastfeeding so I just reassured myself that the set-up would just be temporary. We'll just supplement with formula until my milk supply has established.
But before we could get over that, there posed another challenge - people who will be looking after my baby. You see, I asked my mom to look after my baby pag nanganak na ako. Wala pa kaming nakuhang yaya/helper nun. Di pa naman big deal since I was still on my maternity leave. However, we were already anxious kung ano ang gagawin namin pag pumasok na ako sa trabaho. Na-train na namin si baby to take the bottle but there are still times that she would still be hungry after feeding and would cry. My mom is already a senior citizen and though she is still active and well, di niya na rin kaya ang matagal na magbuhat ng bata o kaya mapagod o ma-stress ng sobra. At pag nagwawala na si baby, na-i-stress rin si mama. I had to make the decision because though I wanted to give what is best for my baby, I also didn't want to aggravate my mother which could pose a risk on her health. So now, mixed feeding kami which works for us - I could still give expressed milk and let my baby latch on to me whenever I'm home, and pag wala naman ako o kulang ang milk supply sa bahay, we give her formula. :)
As for my breastfeeding in public, well ang aking mabuting asawa e ayaw na naka-expose ang aking dibdib which is di maiiwasan kung nagbe-breastfeed. I opted to buy a nursing cover na di ko masyadong magamit as cover for nursing kasi parang sobrang natatabunan si baby ng tela but my nursing cover is very useful when I'm pumping in the office. I could sneak into a corner cubicle and pump milk without fear of being seen "exposed" by my co-workers. I've also recently bought a couple of nursing tanks from Mamaway which I find very useful and mas ok isuot kasi pwedeng patungan na lang ng cardi, bolero or shawl. It's very convenient for easy "access" kung kelangan mag-breastfeed ako sa labas :)
My baby is well and healthy, she had already more than doubled her weight since her birth. Di pa rin maiiwasan na umiyak pag gutom o kaya ayaw magbote and mas prefer si mommy but we are ok na. Little by little, we are understanding her cries and needs. And we are satisfied to have worked out something that would be best for everyone in our family :) I still admire moms who exclusively breastfeed their children. You all inspired me and you still do. I wish that every mom get to experience that wonderful bonding moment whenever you hold your baby against you when you feed her and seeing that she is still and content to be in your arms. Kaya GO tayo sa breastfeeding! Yey!